The Things That Be

There are some things that we won’t say and some things that we won’t admit. Like reading in the bathroom. Or licking the ice-cream tub clean. Or telling someone they’re unforgivably dense.

I have exams this week through, but I also have the study blues. I’m just letting the blues take over. While deriving the Schröndinger Wave Equation, I got thinking about why the world is so pretentious, if that’s the word I want. (Sue me.) We weren’t always pretentious, were we? I remember when I was a kid I was blatantly honest about everything. I used to say things as they came to my mind, without processing them and thinking if or not I must say them. I once asked a friend of my mother’s why she was so fat and was it because she loved to eat cheese. Needless to say, my mum was mortified and had to hurriedly say something to save face. That was when I got my first think-before-you-talk-manners lecture. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now. Though now, I take a couple of seconds before I say something and try my best to be diplomatic. But why must I?

We’re always taught to be nice to people. Say namaste to the elders, enquire about cousins you’ve never seen in your life, smile at guests even though you detest them invading your house at unearthly hours, make conversation with vacuous people because otherwise they will spread word that you’re an insufferable, undeserving antisocial. Ugh. Why can’t I just tell a person to bugger off? Why should I be tolerant and smile at them even though I feel like tearing my hair out in their company? Why, why?!

Some people would say society demands it. But perhaps the society is what we’ve created to keep ourselves in check, to nurture “etiquette” and proper social behaviour. If etiquette is to keep on pretending that something doesn’t bother you and going on as if everything was perfect, then frankly, I’d rather be a social outcast. Society is just another farce. Living room conversation and table chatter.

Subtlety on the other hand doesn’t help much either. To say “I have a little work, I’ll catch you later!” to someone on the phone when you actually want to say, “Listen, mate. You’re boring the pants off me. I’d rather be doing fluid mechanics.” is just postponing the misery. Another call and another excuse and another call. Saying the latter at least gets your message across loud and clear.

Very very few people have it in them to be cut-and-dry. To say, "Save it for someone with an IQ as low as yours." Everyone wants to be thought of as nice and charming, well-mannered and refined. And therefore, we keep the guise up and in the process, forget to preserve our identities and lose ourselves in the whirlpool of make-believe.

P.S: I actually do like Fluid Mech. :|