A Transition

It feels different. Sort of weird – like I’ve somehow suspended the reality of a few weeks before. Like these next couple of months are just a “phase” and I’ll revert back to the comfort of that reality. It just dawned that it wasn’t to be.

Doesn’t seem like I’ve left school. As if I’ll go back to it again someday in June. Reopening day. :) Half-day, new timetable, new class teacher, new benches, new windows to look out of, new books to mug up. It’ll still be all those things. Just in a very, very different scenario. College. Someplace in the middle of nowhere or someplace right here at home. The word of the day is uncertainty.

I’m just thinking out loud. A week since the boards ended and I haven’t called a single friend. To chat, to reminisce together, to groan about impending CETs, to tell them I’ll miss them so and that we should keep in touch no matter what and “be friends forever”.

I feel bad about that. Nights this last week, have been filled with conversations, good and bad times, free periods (read gossip sessions) and mostly, thoughts of my friends. Even though I miss them sorely, I don’t know why I can’t bring myself to call them up. May be it’s the feeling that the conversation won’t go beyond bitsat, tnpcee, aieee etc. I don’t know. Don’t know if it’s just me, but things are getting really strange.

That I might have lost my best friend doesn’t help. I’m not feeling really great. For all that talk of leaving school, growing up, and moving on into college, responsibility and adulthood, I’m not feeling great.